How did We Meet?
Believe it or not, our story did not start out as magical and mystical as it became. Our story started on an afternoon when I went to visit a school called “Master’s Commission” where Joel was already attending at the time. This Master’s Commission was based in Southern Indiana, but their group had come down to Florida on one of their trips. My mom and I drove to see them and if this would be the college I would attend the next year. As I was taken into the room where all the students were, our gazes met and we knew from that moment on that we were destined to be together.
Just kidding!
That did not happen at all! No connection between us was really made except by my mom getting Joel’s classmates to punch his sandwich while he was not looking (it is a Master’s insider game). That next year I left my home in Florida and flew to Indiana –
leaving behind family and friends to attended Masters.
Joel and I were around each other quite a lot that year; but, surprisingly, I did not even give him the time of day (I know, what girl in her right mind ignores a hottie like that?). I wasn’t looking for any male attention. See, I had this whole scheme to keep the guys away. I simply made it known that I was not going to get married. End of story. I was a very independent woman who “don’t need NO man!” (my Nanna taught me that at a very young age – finger shake and all! LOL). I was still pretty hurt at that point of my life. I was out of my security zone, and with only new people around me, this young lady did not know who to trust. The last thing I wanted to do was bring a guy home that I only had met at school. I liked it being only me and God. I felt safer that way. It was as if keeping people out made life easier. It might have been a little more lonely, but I decided that I could live with the loneliness as long as I did not have major disappointment from someone I let so intimately close to my heart.
The both of us attended two years of Master’s together, but the next year I had even less interaction with him than the first year. I am not sure if anyone could have even seen us together back then. You just probably would not think to put Mr. Trusting with Mrs. Not Trusting together. After my second year at school, I transferred further up north and Joel took a youth pastor’s job a few hours away. Occasionally our paths would cross at youth functions, but still no magical moment had yet fallen upon us. It is really as if we had blinders on that kept us from having interest in each other (God knew when it would be great to take them off). After I was about to finish with Master’s, I had accepted a children’s pastors position in Northern Indiana. This Florida girl was going to have to get used to the cold temps and icy roads. Our last three weeks were to be spent volunteering at the Indiana Youth camp and then hello bill paying, adult life.
How Did It Happen?
In June of 2014 is when our story started to get interesting! It was the first week of Indiana teen camp and I ended up being put on the “Red team,” which just so happened to be the same team as Joel and his youth group. It truly was the best week of camp! The week started off strong with the presence of God being evident at every service. One night during worship, I felt like God told me to walk over to one of the girls at the alter and hand her my purity ring (my favorite ring). Later in the service, my ring finger and right ear felt as if they were on fire, which was obviously quite strange and a little freaky. From the start of that week at camp something had changed in me, I was paying attention to Joel and I have to admit he was attractive. I was never the girl to fangirl over a guy, but I found myself always around him and being drawn to him. I felt like I couldn’t help but try to hang around him.
The third night of the camp the head youth pastor of the youth group Joel was apart of came up to me in service and told me that he knew I was interested in Joel and asked me if I would consider going on a date with him. Of course, I said yes. Especially since he mentioned going for coffee, “who doesn’t love coffee?!? Who doesn’t love Joel?!?!!” I thought in my head. It took a few hours for the cloud nine effects to wear off and then the feeling of “OH NO…! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!” to kick in. I immediately went to find that youth pastor who conned me into this to tell him NOT to talk to Joel.
I am an untrusting introvert who has dated Joel’s best friend’s future brother in-law. What good would come out of that drama?! Isn’t that against some kind of guy code? I don’t know… but it just sounds like a bad idea!
When I did find him and tried to reason with him all he responded with was, “You will be fine!” and then walked away! Leaving me stunned and speechless! I didn’t feel like it was going to work with me being hours away, him being a youth pastor, and me accepting a children’s pastor’s position. I thought of a MILLION other reasons why it just wasn’t going to happen. Panic hit me, but I tried my best to swallow and act natural, maybe nothing would come of it and it would all blow over. To my slightly disappointing joy nothing even came of this little matchmaking event at camp. I didn’t want anything to happen between us I couldn’t help but feel a sting of disappointment.
After camp, we went our separate ways. A few weeks later Joel ended up accepting an assistant director’s job at the ministry school that was starting up at my home church in Florida. I stayed in northern Indiana and began the children’s pastors job that I accepted. The odd thing is Joel stayed at my parent’s house (in my old room) for a few months while he was getting on his feet after taking his new job in Florida. Months back I prayed that my future husband would stay at least a month with my family without me around so that my family could really get to know the guy. It was one of those prayers that I did not really expect to happen because I was trying to make an impossible request for God, but boy, He has a way of showing me that nothing is impossible for Him. Joel living at my parent’s house and me living 16 hours away really messed with my head. Him being there made me wonder if he was going to be “the guy,” but then there was no communication between us, so it seemed highly unlikely.
The Journey
In September of 2015, God made it clear that it was time for me to head back home to Florida after three and a half years of being away (don’t worry Joel moved out and got his own apartment the day I moved back home). I really liked him at this point and had high hopes, but after a few weeks, I was positive that those feelings were not reciprocated. After working around each other at church, hanging around each other in the same friends groups, and his weekly laundry visits to my house, nothing – I mean nothing – seemed to be sparking between us. I couldn’t help but feel that he probably had feelings for another girl, which I was good with. but it meant that I needed to change him from the potential list to brother status. I finally decided in October that I was giving up on him.
My heart couldn’t take it any longer so I was shutting the gates and barring the doors. After the Harvest Party that our church put on, I proceeded to tell him in my own way I was saying goodbye to any hope of an “us” ever being an option. I told him, “I hope that he would never settle for anything less than the one God had for him, he was going to do great things for God, and he didn’t need someone pulling him back. I would only say this to someone that I considered as a brother, I just felt like I needed to tell you that.” That was my heart’s farewell speech to an incredible guy.
About a week later, Joel, mom, and I were talking in the parking lot after the Sunday night service. We are always the last to leave. Mom left to grab something out of the church, so Joel and I continued to talk for a while after she left. Then his phone rang. His old youth leader from the church he had been youth pastoring with wanted to FaceTime (the guy that was trying to put Joel and I together at camp). Both of us were excited to see him! As soon as he saw both of us on the screen, he started giving Joel a pretty hard time for about thirty minutes, saying “Why are you two in a dark parking lot ALONE?!” “I told you that you should have dated her six months ago!” “Why have you not told me about you two yet? I have to catch you two in a parking lot ALONE to find out?!”
I have to admit, I LOVED poor little Joel getting picked on. He was turning red, and that only added to my enjoyment! After about 15 more minutes of those kind of comments, he let us go “so we could discuss our future relationship since we were not actually dating, yet!”
After I stopped laughing and Joel’s face turned back to somewhat of a normal shade, he said “well this is not how I had hoped to ask you. I wanted to take you on a walk or somewhere nice. Not the church parking lot, but would you consider pursuing a relationship with me? I already have gotten your parent’s permission.”
My response was, “When did you get to my parents without me knowing?!” and then of course I said “Yes, I WOULD LIKE THAT!” trying to keep my face from turning red now. Joel ended up taking “My Heart’s Farewell Speak”, as “If You Do Not Pick Me You are Making a Big Mistake” speech. Funny how things get lost in the interpretation!
Finally We Get COFFEE
The next day, Joel came to pick me up from the church to go get coffee. We headed to everyone’s local coffee shop, Starbucks! It had taken six months for me to finally get my date and coffee with Joel. As we were walking in the door, this panicked look come over his face. He had forgotten his wallet at his apartment. He shook his head and started heading back to his car, but I told him that it’s on me this time. It took a while for convincing and a promise that I would let him pay me back, which he did, but he let me pay for our coffee. So, on our first date, ladies and gents, I paid.
I was not nervous around him at all, and it all seemed very natural! Coffee turned into a walk around the lake, in which it felt as if the whole town saw us there. I had forgotten that everyone was related to everyone in some way here and how popular the lake was to hang out at, but by the time we arrived at young adults group our cover had been blown and the whole group knew. I had not even had time to tell my friends yet because I wanted to tell them in person, but they knew now.
Our “First” Official Date
Joel has a little romantic side to him. Who am I kidding? He is very romantic! For our “first” official date it was an all-day event in December (we had been on little dates but he wanted to do something special for our first official date). The first thing we did was go horseback riding (I LOVE HORSES!!!) in the morning together and picked oranges out of the trees as we rode. This was one of my favorite moments of the day; as we were riding our horses back to the barn, Joel reaches over and grabs and hold my hand all the way back. Then we headed off to the beach, Anna Maria Island, where we had a beautifully romantic picnic lunch on the beach. He had made lunch; a fancy picnic with wine glasses and sparkling grape juice included. This beach is special to me because my Grandpa and family used to stay a weeks’ vacation together there before he passed. Then we were off again where I had no clue where. He took me to my other favorite place Lake Mirror. Here he had friends involved to do the set up in a beautiful little area near the lake with candles and handwritten pages asking me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes! Since it was December there were BIG Christmas trees and Christmas lights reflecting off the water that evening.
The Proposal
Now, what you have been waiting for! I was swept off to where I had no clue where and it was an all-day event AGAIN, starting at 8am. A twelve mile canoe trip is what we were in store for with alligators and turtles all around. Joel had never seen a gator before, so he was pretty excited when we came up to an 8 footer. After a few hours of canoeing, we got out of the boat to take a break. 12 miles is a long way to canoe in the Florida sun. Since the last time we had done an all-day date was when he asked me to officially be his girl, I was fully expecting a ring and even informed my mom that I knew what was happening.
While we were on shore, Joel got a box out of his bag, and as he opened this little box he said sweet words that I was having a hard time hearing because I wanted to see a ring. But when I looked inside, I saw a beautiful skeleton key necklace. I was disappointed, but I tried to keep it from showing on my face. He said “I don’t have the ring right now but when I do get it I promise to give it to you!”. We finished our trip on the water, stopped for coffee, and headed to our favorite place, Anna Maria Island. This Island had become our favorite place to escape to and we would come as often as we could.
The sun was just starting to set as we got to the beach and our all-day canoe trip had already left me sun kissed (well, maybe well-done but sunsets on this Island are beautiful.). As we were walking along the shore hand and hand, we were headed through a group of people when Joel points out a tiffany blue bottle stuck in the sand along the water’s edge. I immediately knew what was happening! I threw him one of those looks that lets you know that I know what’s going on. I picked up the bottle but needed help pulling out the three pages of handwritten notes that were rolled tightly up inside. All three pages were filled with heart felt, handwritten words that probably took him hours to write and make sure he had it all just right. At the end of it all it said “all of these reasons of why I love you leads me to ask you one thing…” So as I turned around he was on one knee with a little blue treasure chest that had “J 📷 R” on the top, he opened it and said those four promised words
“WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
“YES”
I replied! People on the beach started cheering and taking photos of the both of us. It all felt as if I was no longer in reality but in some sort of movie where we are famous and everyone wants our pictures.
It Continues…
After we were done with the paparazzi, we continued walking down the shore of the beach in pure bliss. After a while my curiosity was beginning to surface. We had been walking for a while now and I was wondering where we could be going. We had just kept walking and the sun had already set at this point, the stars where coming out. It was getting dark, but I had no idea what was supposed to happened after the proposing part of a proposal. Even after asking several times, Joel wouldn’t tell me what was next or how we were even going to get those pictures from those strangers. When we reached the North Point of the island, these glow jars became visible and as we neared even closer, I could see a candle lit dinner that had been prepared.
So we followed the glow jar lit path to our prepared dining experience under the stars. We sat in chairs that said “Mr. B” (for Binkerd) and “Mrs. B” and ate our lovely dinner and drank sparkling grape juice. As we sat there in complete happiness, I thought “Wow! What a lovely way to finish out an all-day proposal, to be at my favorite place on this beach at night and eating dinner under the stars.” But wait, there is more. This was not all Joel had planned. After he poured us some more sparkling grape juice in our wine glasses he pulled out his guitar and sang a song about us growing old together. It was a lovely ending to a lovely day, and if it would not have been for friends and family helping, the day would not have been as special.
Come to find out, my mom and two of my closest friends had helped Joel set up the whole experience on the beach. They had gotten to the beach before us to hide the bottle and ask a family if they would help watch the bottle that they left on the shore while one of my friends disguised herself in a big brim hat and glasses to take pictures. So the entire time she was there among the strangers taking pictures but I did not recognize her. Then they scurried up the beach to the point to prepare dinner and the glow jars. This is the moment I wish I could have seen. To make glow jars, it requires a glow stick, and after cracking open a glow stick, one of my friends got it on her hands and then ran her hand through her hair leaving this glowing streak in her hair. I heard that we came up on them a little too soon, so she had to take off running in the dark through the sand with that crazy streak in her hair. I bet she looked wild! I am truly blessed to have so many people with this amount willingness in their hearts to help this much.
This is only the beginning of our love story and I believe that the best is still to come.
Both Joel and myself had made decisions before we were in any kind of relationship together that we were going to wait til that special wedding day to kiss. . Stay posted!